the believer (2001). directed by henry bean.

hate is a sick thing. self-hating is even worse. it often comes from some place in the heart that is full of love and devotion and then it gets twisted by disappointment, like all that faith and belief failed you somewhere along the line. you then ceased to believe, but because this system if what you grow up with, the thing that you used to devote yourself to, the thing that forms the very basic framework of thought at the back of your mind - you can only hate and say you no longer believe, but that attachment, that love, will never go away. sometimes you even find solace in it. you still have respect for it even though you bashed it as being irrational and blind devotion is no use for anyone.  

i think you hate the fact that despite of your utter belief, it failed. i think you hate the self that choose to believe despite all odds. is it possible to leave everything behind and become this new person with a new belief system that is not embittered with the past?

this film is based loosely on a real life story of dan burros, a jewish american who was a member of the american nazi party. disturbing is an understatement to describe a jew who becomes a nazi skinhead that goes around beating other jews, planting pipe bombs in synagogues and being a racist dick to practically anyone who is not white. he hates himself for being born a jew and growing up believing in judaism, and seemed to take on the burden of history on himself. his logics goes - the holocaust happened because the jews are weak people, because their belief makes them the sacrificial lamb. why don't they react with violence like he is now? why can't they? the jewish god is nothing but a bully who enjoys inflicting pain on his people to show his power. 

if only history and the reasons why people act or react could be broken down with such simple logic.

in the atmosphere that we live now, where paranoia and being defensive is pervasive, i think this movie questions the reasons why we choose to believe in certain things, and why we don't. we have muslims bashing islam (if we have self hating jews, i am sure we are abound with self hating muslims) and non-muslims who simply hate muslims, as danny balint put it we just hate them and we don't need any other reason. the guy in the movie is highly intelligent and articulate, but he is disturbed in his blind quest for something to believe and to make sense of the world that follows no rules since a long time ago.