de battre mon coeur s'est arrêté (original title) (2005) (english: the beat that my heart skipped). directed by jacques audiard.

i used to have a blog with the same title. some time ago it was. i deleted it, to delete memories and experiences. physically, that is much harder to do. this story is one of the major hollywood movies that was remade in french. it was based on an earlier movie, fingers (1978) directed by james toback with the lead played by harvey keitel.

i usually watch movies several times - but the rule doesn't apply with this one. not that it is not good - on the contrary - it is very good. but french movies - being french - suck you right into their misery, or whatever it is on screen. this movie is no exception.

it is about a man torn between two worlds - his day job as a criminal, beating up people for money - but his dream job, his passion - is to be a concert pianist. he hires a chinese piano teacher who doesn't speak any french, thus their only mode of communication is via music - it is painful to watch this man fighting so hard for something that seemingly isn't natural for him, and yet so dear to him. i haven't seen romain duris a lot - and in this movie, he gave one powerful performance.

i watched this film several years ago, and haven't watched it again since. my memory failed me on the details - but i remember how painful it was to watch him struggle. he didn't get to be a pianist right till the end, but he went on to achieve something bigger. he left his thuggish profession behind. his struggle to be something that at his age is impossible to do is but a facade of the hunger of how much he wants to leave his old life for good.

i apologize, i do not do justice of a review to this film. it is beautiful beyond words. i think i will give it a second viewing, when i get back in april.